can't stand it

random fact 5: exclusivity and the need to be constantly in control make me sick. absolutely sick. I don't understand it; it's not my style. Why try to control everything-things hardly ever go the way we want it, and trying to make it happen that way is just futile. Leaving people out just makes things difficult for everyone else. The awkwardness that comes from all of this is just overwhelmingly stressful. I'm so sick of it.

I also do not understand why my dad feels the need to call me and tell me how much he hates my mom. Please, this is overstepping a HUGE line that never needed to be overstepped. I love both of my parents, and this is just uncalled for. I know that both of my parents are flawed, but we all are; having them pointed out to me, like that--it's painful, it ruins my day, stresses me out, and makes me feel really uncomfortable. I wish it would stop. There are some days where I want to change my phone number and just get away from it all.

I did my workout on Friday: elliptical for a mile at variable resistance, ran a mile on the treadmill, and then walked half a mile. I had no issues like last week-i think it was because I harnessed all of my stress and put it into that. It's the only thing I can do to make the stress go away for a little bit and make myself feel good at the same time. Then I did my weights for abs and arms and started adding in more reps. Proud of myself for getting through out of it with no issues like my almost copping out last week. I really need to remember to harness my stress like that more often, I love what it does to me when I use it like that.