21. I put up walls when I like someone that I know I have no chance with. I may seem bitchy but at least i don't look like a weak girl with a crush

It's pretty obvious when I like someone-or at least that's what I've realized in the past few weeks-I was found out last weekend; that was cool. Basically besides looking weak, my defensive side comes from the pattern that no guys that I am interested in ever like me back. That's why I perceive my crushes as weak...falling for someone who sometimes won't even give you the time of day. I don't know if that's worse than falling for someone you're friends with though; having to interact with them and pretend that it doesn't bother you when you find out that they like someone (else). I'm sick of crushing on guys and looking stupid-seriously the story of my life and I'm sick of it...I'm too old for this...I'm ready for my one alotted boyfriend, to get married, and have a family. Hopefully in the process, the guy can make me believe in love, or none of that will roll out anyway.