Peace of Life

I'm trying not to be all woe is me, but dude I'm 23 years old and pretty much still in the same situation i was in when i was 17 except different city, moved out, have a job, etc...so romantical wise, i'm fucking hopeless...and it's fucking annoying as all get out...like seriously, i've been in dallas for a little over a year and I have yet to have more than 4 friends outside of work...1 being a guy who is probably gay AND i'm not skinny enough for ANYWAY...and i don't mind having most of my friends at work because they are fun and awesome..but geeze...(for the record of this whole lack of friends thing, I'm just at a lack of LOCAL friends..being that I'm from one place, went to school in another, and thanks to a band who otherwise fucked my life over, met people from all over the US (yes, that's pretty much the only thing that unnamed band did for me that was positive) I am at a lack of friends in the local, Dallas arena...I was on JDate for a while (christian mingles but for Jews) but honestly, I want to meet future boyfriend/s and husband organically...not that it would be awful at all to meet them from JDate, but I'm over it...

My anxiety has been kicked up SO hard core this week, it's been insane...like almost to the point of not being able to function without focusing really really hard..thank goodness this week was simply "how are you doing with your flu vaccine stock? oh good! you're not running low yet...alright, well you have my number if you do need to order more, have a great day!"

I'm sick sick sick of being the average looking friend, or the fat friend, or the chubster, but clearly since i drank a bottle of arbor mist, ate foccacia and garlic butter spread, wings, and sushi (with alayna) last night, and then finished off the wings, foccacia, and spread this morning, I'm going to be the dumbass gave herself a heart attack friend