25. I want a secret down low real relationship

Which because it's me, is impossible for 2 reasons: 1) I get WAY too excited about things and always end up telling people...2) it's me, and i polarly repel any type of romantical relationship period...but if i could, i really would like one...I think that a relationship like that would actually benefit me...being just one on one with a guy...just us, getting to know each other and hopefully falling in love..and doing that with out the distraction of other people knowing too much about the relationship...i'm not talking about dating in secret, but if nobody really knew that I was dating anyone...maybe if i did keep it to myself for a while, it would work out...which honestly, at this point in my life, I really am ready for...and all i can do right now is keep putting myself out there and hoping for the best