this is truth and i'm a bitch and i don't care

in the past 20 minutes, i have come to complete realization about how much i have matured and grown and really changed from things that started 3 years ago.

Fandoms annoy me, I really cannot see myself spending that much time and effort on something that really isn't giving me real gratification or moving me in the real world...it was a great coping skill but now i'm just reading things about people staying up forever to gain access to one, freaking out because they are missing something or that they didn't make it, and then people being douchebags and acting like they know everything and they're high and mighty....i'm just like..wow..like i'm fully okay with waiting until october when this one is open to the public and even then, am i going to do it? who knows, but damn, some people are just absolutely off the wall..and funny thing is that they call me annoying and a shitty person...okay, whatever, goodbye...and seriously, people who get their kicks out of being top shit of a fandom...really....step outside and see the light of day please..real life really isn't that scary, you just can't expect people to bow down at your feet like in fandoms...well i guess that is scary, but deal with it, life is not a fandom

i'm ready to cut people out of my life again-i know this is an awful thing to do, but at this moment, it's the only way i see things happening...friendships that i thought were real..seem to not be and that's upsetting to me...i guess what hurts most is sitting on the sidelines watching and knowing that you're not their person anymore...unless there's something to complain about...then i am the jackpot...cool i guess...as in NOT

my horoscope today says that my intellect is on fire and things are making sense...i've got the energy to make something happen, but that i need t keep it practical and spend wisely-so i guess that's definitely a good sign for me to get shit done, maybe it's telling me not to renew jdate until next paycheck or maybe it's telling me to be careful when spending on my protein supplements? probably something big like planning a trip to see certain people who i've grown apart from or any other omg i need to buy this now that might pop into my head...actually i just realized what it could be which i've been throwing around in my head for a week now anyway...wowww

i need to think clearly..i'm an adult, i'm 23, i know what i have, what i need to do, and what is actually important...my self, my family, my REAL friends, my JOB...real life, no more coping like I used to, I think what I have realized today is that I have the strength now to do what i need without all of that...i hope that my friends who are not there yet will get there...i know they'll feel better, but of course i wil continue to support them in whatever they do, even if i'm not involved with it..